This post is by popular demand. Even I disapprove of it, but I take no responsibility. Readers have been clamoring for a sequel to 10 Reasons Why There's No Such Thing as Meaningless Sex, which I wrote on a whim a Friday afternoon. If you were one of them, this post is your fault. I didn't even write it; I was channeling you!
I have written posts attempting to help you attain lasting peace and happiness, effortless flow of thought that takes the stress and struggle out of success, and spiritual awakening. They are well read, but my original non-meaningless sex post was off the charts. So, with reluctance but resolve, and three bonus reasons (you're welcome), here you go.
1. It means there are better places to meet people than on a municipal bus.
2. It means you don't even need to break up with the person. They don't want to ever see you again, too.
3. It means you should redeem yourself by doing community service.
4. It means you weren’t bored for three minutes. Not even semi-bored. That's something.
5. Some Eastern spiritual traditions say there is no free will. If that's true, it means your "encounter" wasn't your fault. It wasn't your choice. It wasn't even your idea.
6. It means you should hide your next blow-up doll (your usual go-to date) in a place where your German Shepherd can't find it and haul it away. He likes the nurse costume, too.
7. It means you saved 95% off the cost of a meaningful relationship.
8. Just in case you need the worse excuse in the world, your bra was tired. It needed a rest.
9, It means you saved money by using that 3-year-old condom before it expired. (Wait, are you sure it wasn’t expired? Wait, did you even use a condom?)
10. It means you should both get divorces.
11. It means that extra-marital sex can be such a woeful, pathetic non-event that it doesn't even count as cheating.
12. It means you successfully took a break from over-thinking everything and didn’t think at all.
13. It means the phrase, "I'm only human" works in almost any situation.